It's hard to guess what you are thinking. We are friends but not really friends. I want to talk & get close to you, but it's just so hard for me when you don't reciprocate so that I won't feel like it's a one-sided friendship. Everytime when you gave me a one-sided feeling, I felt like you are hinting me to give up. But another part of me tells me I shouldn't.

I won't give up just like that. No.

I am so pessemistic, so negative when I look at things. But ain't it good that I have thought of a worst-case-scenario for certain situations? But this is one thing that I didn't do for one of the situation. I didn't think that I would actually fall for someone "there". It's my fuel to my passion now. I can't stop going "there" even despite any outcomes of the situation. It's the battle between my ego & passion now. :/ Hoping that things will turn out right, like how I yearn for it to be.

xxx
I am feeling emo at night.
I need a hug, not just from anyone, only from some that will give me that feeling that I want.
I don't want my friends to give up on me. I feel like I disappoint my friends sometimes. Urgh. I know I said I don't live for anyone, but they affect my mood greatly, because they are my friends, the ones that I cherish the most.